The final two weeks of college were surreal for me—taking final exams for the last time, setting up job interviews, and packing up my dorm room—all with the underlying realization that once I walked across Twichell Auditorium stage in that billowing black gown, it would all be over. The nice, predictable life I’d led would cease.
It’s hard to come to terms with this kind of permanence, especially when it signals the end of a phase that many consider life’s best years. The four years I spent at Converse certainly were wonderful: the late-night movie expeditions, road trips, dates and breakups, amazing professors, and getting to know some of the best friends I could ever hope for. Seeing the school supplies pristinely displayed on store shelves early in the fall always makes me yearn for campus again. Wasn’t life easier then? Wasn’t it more enjoyable when I didn’t have a full-time job with full-time responsibilities? When I didn’t have bills to pay and best friends that now live in other states?
More enjoyable? Not exactly. Life was comfortable then, which is nice, but we weren’t designed for “comfortable.” God destined us for change and growth from the moment He created us. Our present complex selves began from the unions of two single cells, after all.
It’s not like He’s tossing all this change our way with a resounding “Good luck with that!” Rather, it’s one of His many methods of demonstrating His love for us. His challenges mold us into the persons He intended us to be, simultaneously beckoning us to seek His wisdom and provision.
I had a giant reminder of this over the summer, when I suddenly faced unemployment. Unexpected as the situation was, I didn’t have a Plan B to fall back on. It’s been over 3 months, and I’ve yet to find another job, despite countless applications (no doubt some of you reading this are in the same boat, unfortunately).
Sure, it didn’t feel great to lose my job, but looking back on this experience, my perspective has become one of gratitude. I didn’t love my job and I’d long harbored fantasies of going back to school to pursue a design degree. But I was comfortable: I had a full-time job that provided enough income to pay my bills and be able to go shopping or eat out or take a weekend trip without much hesitation. Why would I want to trade in that sense of security for an hourly job that wouldn’t necessarily make ends meet? Well, that fateful day in July arrived and I suddenly had my answer. Change, regardless of the degree, forces us to take stock and realign ourselves with what is truly important. God had just forced me to take action, to really trust Him and reach for what He wants for me.
I became a follower of Christ before all this transpired, but hadn’t fully committed to it. I wasn’t doing my part to live out my decision to follow Him. This experience has shown me that I can work harder to reflect God’s love and guidance, so that others can enjoy the peace that comes from relying on Him. As Solomon said in Ecclesiastes 7, God brings both the good and the bad into our lives, so that we can understand His immense love for us and correct our perspective. The good brings pleasure, but the bad brings wisdom through suffering and growth; both bring the opportunity to glorify God (Ecclesiastes 7: 1-14).
Since becoming unemployed, I’ve had ample free time to ponder… everything: my career aspirations; the closet in my apartment that was still full of boxes a year and a half after moving in; my lack of a personal budget and disinterest in following one; and most importantly, my relationship with God.
I started taking graphic design classes this fall and really enjoy what I’m learning. I finally cleaned out that closet; I’ve taken a closer look at my finances and am trying to follow a budget. I’ve been praying a lot, trying to take to heart what I read in the Bible, and have been trying really hard to relinquish control. I’ll probably always struggle with this, and it drives me a bit nuts to realize that I don’t know how long it’ll be before I have a job again, but that’s okay. I can reside in the comfort that comes from knowing He’s got it all covered.
It’s hard to come to terms with this kind of permanence, especially when it signals the end of a phase that many consider life’s best years. The four years I spent at Converse certainly were wonderful: the late-night movie expeditions, road trips, dates and breakups, amazing professors, and getting to know some of the best friends I could ever hope for. Seeing the school supplies pristinely displayed on store shelves early in the fall always makes me yearn for campus again. Wasn’t life easier then? Wasn’t it more enjoyable when I didn’t have a full-time job with full-time responsibilities? When I didn’t have bills to pay and best friends that now live in other states?
More enjoyable? Not exactly. Life was comfortable then, which is nice, but we weren’t designed for “comfortable.” God destined us for change and growth from the moment He created us. Our present complex selves began from the unions of two single cells, after all.
It’s not like He’s tossing all this change our way with a resounding “Good luck with that!” Rather, it’s one of His many methods of demonstrating His love for us. His challenges mold us into the persons He intended us to be, simultaneously beckoning us to seek His wisdom and provision.
I had a giant reminder of this over the summer, when I suddenly faced unemployment. Unexpected as the situation was, I didn’t have a Plan B to fall back on. It’s been over 3 months, and I’ve yet to find another job, despite countless applications (no doubt some of you reading this are in the same boat, unfortunately).
Sure, it didn’t feel great to lose my job, but looking back on this experience, my perspective has become one of gratitude. I didn’t love my job and I’d long harbored fantasies of going back to school to pursue a design degree. But I was comfortable: I had a full-time job that provided enough income to pay my bills and be able to go shopping or eat out or take a weekend trip without much hesitation. Why would I want to trade in that sense of security for an hourly job that wouldn’t necessarily make ends meet? Well, that fateful day in July arrived and I suddenly had my answer. Change, regardless of the degree, forces us to take stock and realign ourselves with what is truly important. God had just forced me to take action, to really trust Him and reach for what He wants for me.
I became a follower of Christ before all this transpired, but hadn’t fully committed to it. I wasn’t doing my part to live out my decision to follow Him. This experience has shown me that I can work harder to reflect God’s love and guidance, so that others can enjoy the peace that comes from relying on Him. As Solomon said in Ecclesiastes 7, God brings both the good and the bad into our lives, so that we can understand His immense love for us and correct our perspective. The good brings pleasure, but the bad brings wisdom through suffering and growth; both bring the opportunity to glorify God (Ecclesiastes 7: 1-14).
Since becoming unemployed, I’ve had ample free time to ponder… everything: my career aspirations; the closet in my apartment that was still full of boxes a year and a half after moving in; my lack of a personal budget and disinterest in following one; and most importantly, my relationship with God.
I started taking graphic design classes this fall and really enjoy what I’m learning. I finally cleaned out that closet; I’ve taken a closer look at my finances and am trying to follow a budget. I’ve been praying a lot, trying to take to heart what I read in the Bible, and have been trying really hard to relinquish control. I’ll probably always struggle with this, and it drives me a bit nuts to realize that I don’t know how long it’ll be before I have a job again, but that’s okay. I can reside in the comfort that comes from knowing He’s got it all covered.
3 comments:
thanks for your story! what a wonderful way that God worked in your life through messes and unfortunate happenings. I am about to be done with school as well and in two weeks will move back in with my parents. it's very odd and I feel that I might go crazy with all of changes on the horizon but your writing reminded me to find my peace and stability in God.
It's amazing how God works sometimes, and I'm so glad to hear that you have had the opportunity to take classes this fall. I can't wait to hear what's next for you!
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